the memories of a trip

In the way to Tehran with parents those who I always try to escape from
I feel so close to the nature and to my wonder it’s so interesting!
This feeling came to me suddenly. Am I a part of this nature? Am I a sister for this big mount or this amazing desert? But I can see, hear, eat … .and more important than all these senses I can love become interested in people or … also I can think! And: I can become excited by the progress after each state of victory.
All these tell me that I must be different from nature not physically but mentally!
Well maybe the truth is this fact that my mind make me different but in aspect of physicality I am the same exactly the same with the nature.
So what is this mind and from where it has came? It’s the one important thing I need to solve before thinking about the beginning and end of this world.
Once I thought the meaning of limitless is meaningless and I thought this word has been created due to our inability. For example the space is one of those unlimited part of this world but we can imagine it in this way: all the space could be defined as a single thing because all its unlimited parts has consisted of material! It’s the real and the single/unique fact of this world.
All these variety is one thing and that one is material!
I think this idea must be reasonable but let’s go back to our thought and our mind.
There r something in the shape of thoughts that cannot be defined with the material definition! Such as the limitless power we call it God. We can’t describe him and I think there r to possibility for this imagination: first, its definition is out of our ability and second there is nothing that can be defined.
Look at all these ruined monuments they seems like a fantasy to me I can’t comprehend them, and the only things I can imagine about them could be this idea that some one has intentionally creates them and they don’t have any existence as they learnt us in history that there is no history except me that I’m the only living creature in this world!!!...and just recently I realized that I’m living as a single creature only for one time and its just me that must direct it and no one else that I must try to gain the best and be care full not lose any part for the sake of any one!
But the way back
After that entire struggle with the unique Hitler of my life for the right of women I can remember only a very interesting hour, I didn’t write that time because I wanted to enjoy the beauties …
Ok at first I could see and realize what you’ve told me about the real light of things in a special time of day (in the way back from Esfahan!) Then a very beautiful rain and nicer than that a wonderful song by the mastersinger of Iran’s music. Well the most important part (maybe in whole of my life) I could realized for a while the beauty of that moment and to my wonder I tried to enjoy it and I realized these beautiful moments are the real meaning of my life that neglecting them means losing a life time (so I have lost a big part till now) I realized I have lived in a dream of a metaphysical purpose and due to that dream I couldn’t pay the necessary attention to my life.
In brief I learned from this imposed trip that I must try to live for every minutes I must try to understand all the beauties or the ugliness of all the moments of my life then I could be hopeful that I didn’t lose any things!